Thanks, Willy

The Cord

We are connected, my child and I,

By an invisible cord not seen by the eye.

It’s not like the cord that connects us ’til birth,

This cord can’t be seen by any on earth.

This cord does its work right from the start

It binds us together, attached to my heart.

I know that it’s there, though no one can see

The invisible cord from my child to me.

The strength of this cord is hard to describe

It can’t be destroyed, it can’t be denied.

It’s stronger than any cord man could create

It withstands the test, can hold any weight.

And though you are gone, though you’re not here with me

The cord is still there, but no one can see.

It pulls at my heart, I am bruised, I am sore

But this cord is my lifeline as never before.

I am thankful that God connects us this way

A mother and child, death can’t take it away.

~ author unknown ~

Just For Today

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours

and not expect to get over my child’s death,

but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time.

Just for today I will remember my child’s life, not just his death,

and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days

and moments we shared.

Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends

who didn’t help or comfort me the way I needed them to.

They truly did not know how.

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside,

for maybe if I smile a little,

my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child,

for they are hurting too,

and perhaps we can help each other.

Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt,

for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world

I could have done to save my child from death,

I would have done it.

Just for today I will honor my child’s memory

by doing something with another child

because I know that would make my own child proud.

Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship

to another bereaved parent

for I do know how they feel.

Just for today when my heart feels like breaking,

I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving

and the only reason I hurt is because

I had the privilege of loving so much.

Just for today I will not compare myself with others.

I am fortunate to be who I am

and have had my child for as long as I did.

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy,

for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.

Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did,

my life did go on,

and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.

~ author unknown ~

You came into the world one day

a few short years ago

We wrapped you up in arms of love

and you began to grow.

You learned to walk, and then to talk

when you were very small

We watched you dazzle with a smile

you gave to one and all.

You learned to care ’bout others

and often showed them how

We saw with joy and pride so great

and often remember now.

You worked so hard at your books

because they were so tough

We tried to help you as we could

and hoped it was enough.

You treasured every single friend

be they young or old

We could not help but think

you had a pot of gold.

You filled the world with sunshine

a bright and shining light.

We held you high for all to see

and knew that you were right.

You left one snowy day in March

when you were just half grown

We knew God sent an angel down

to take you to his home.

You could not be forgotten son

as if we’d ever try.

We try to see the love you left

even as we cry.

You wait for us with God we know

for us to join you there.

We live our sadder lives on Earth

and find you everywhere.

~ Written for Ben by his Mom, Jamie  8/30/99) ~

My Ugly Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.

They are ugly shoes.

Uncomfortable shoes.

I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.

Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.

Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy.

I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.

They never talk about my shoes.

To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.

But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.

There are many pairs in this world.

Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.

Some have learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite as much.

Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.

Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.

These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.

They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

~ Author Unknown ~

If I could have a lifetime wish, a dream that would come true.

I’d pray to God with all of my heart for yesterday and you.

A thousand words can’t bring you back; I know because I’ve tried.

And neither can a million tears; I know because I’ve cried.

You left behind my broken heart and happy memories too.

I never wanted memories; I only wanted you.

~ Author unknown ~